Anyone who has a marital quarrel in front of their children accepts that this will have lasting negative effects on children. Find out which ones they are!
Marital quarrels should be fought between two adults. Alone. And never in the presence of their children. Even if you don’t think that’s a bad thing, a marital breakdown will leave its mark on your child’s vulnerable soul. And these traces get deeper the more often the child experiences a marital dispute.
Marital quarrels belong among married couples and never in front of children!
A marriage fight cannot be planned. The family was just sitting harmoniously at the table, then it explodes and the parents get started. What remains are irritated and insecure children. At the moment of the argument, neither partner can imagine what this means for the child.
If a child experiences a marital quarrel, it does not leave it unaffected. No matter how old your child is, they are involved in the argument whether they want to or not. Infants also perceive such tensions, which have an influence on their development!
Regardless of the extent of the discussion , growing up in a tense family environment can lead to deep emotional disturbance as it encourages problems such as anxiety and poor self-esteem.
A calm environment, in which the child is not involved in adult conflicts, contributes to harmonious psychological development. Learn what consequences it will have on your child if you resolve your disputes in their presence:
At this stage, the child has not fully developed the language and is trying to express himself through non-verbal communication. Therefore, after a marital argument, the child may cry or become irritable and nagged, making it difficult to comfort the child.
Older children of preschool age also do not yet know the root causes of the conflict and their still self-centered thoughts lead them to take responsibility for the argument and feel guilty about the tension between their parents.
The reactions can vary depending on the child. Some pretend nothing has happened, others are afraid of something terrible that will happen to them and isolate themselves from the outside world until they feel safe.
They usually express their emotional hurt through changes in sleeping or feeding patterns. They can regress to earlier stages of development, such as bed-wetting, irritability, or aggression during activity.
It is at this age that children begin to understand what is happening. They may feel anxious or insecure and feel guilty about their father or mother. Because of this feeling of guilt, they feel compelled to take sides; Girls tend to take their mother’s side, while boys tend to defend their father.
How do small and frequent discussions affect children?
In general, children get used to the small and frequent discussions. And that is precisely what creates an unstable family climate. In such an environment, the child understands that a small detail can spoil a pleasant moment.
This can lead to the child not expressing their real needs to avoid resentment. Violent clashes have an even greater impact on the level of confidence the child can have in themselves.
Children and marital quarrels with insults
The child should never be used to insult the spouse or take action against the other parent, especially if the final separation has already taken place. It is important to avoid any quarrels, especially strong ones, on the evening before going to sleep, as this is a crucial moment for children.
Disputes are generated in all families, but seeking understanding is important because every human being is different. Ideally, the child will grow up in a happy home.
Marriage quarrels, please, always far away from children!
Parental disputes should always take place where children are not present. You will likely know that their parents quarreled, but they won’t feel like they are part of the fight. Children, especially the youngest, cannot read beyond the word; they take everything at face value.
If you listen to your parents say the phrases like, “Enough! Enough! ”,“ I’m sick of you! ”,“ I don’t want to see you again! ”; Not only will they feel hurt, but they’ll also feel insecure thinking that their parents may break up. Children don’t read between the lines, they just understand what they’re hearing.
Let us help you!
Participation in couples therapy is used in the event of conflicts and problems to improve communication and restore the balance between the spouses. Family therapy is ideal when the child exhibits inappropriate behaviors or psychosomatic symptoms that require professional intervention. In this process, the therapist helps the whole family core to foster positive relationships.
Talk to your children
Sometimes it is inevitable to have a discussion in the presence of children. In these cases it is important to explain to them that all people argue, even if they are in love.
Use the moment of dialogue to explain that a marital argument doesn’t mean the parents don’t want each other as a couple, much less that they no longer value them.
If the conflict is already resolved, it can be used to conduct family activities; but if it doesn’t, don’t pretend it’s resolved, as children are perfectly capable of sensing the tension.
Parents as role models
Remember, parents are a basic model for children. When a parent is verbally or physically abused, a deep wound is created that can affect the personality of the child and the later adult. Also, it will affect future coexistence with your friends and colleagues.
It is essential to teach children that when people have different opinions on an issue they can always engage in dialogue ; that you can create an environment of tolerance and respect without getting angry, yelling, or saying awkward words.