You shouldn’t let social pressure guide you when it comes to your wellbeing. Loneliness is not negative, on the contrary, it should be viewed as an opportunity for personal growth.
One often hears that loneliness teaches more than any society . While this may be right, we are pet animals and we need communication in order to grow, learn, and live. The secret lies in finding the right balance.
Moments of loneliness are important for sanity. They are moments of calm and connection with our soul space. In some phases of life you also feel “connected”, you almost choke on certain situations or because of the behavior of certain people.
As soon as you feel that you are losing control, the ability to choose for yourself, or the ability to choose a particular path because you feel limited by outside pressure, the time has come to act.
Because sometimes loneliness is the price for freedom, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t have to be bad. We invite you to join us on this thought walk.
When loneliness is the only possible way
You may be familiar with the following situation for women in China, which is astonishing to us, but fits perfectly with our topic today about the price of freedom.
When a Chinese woman reaches the age of 25 and is not yet married, she is considered to be “sheng-nu”, which translates as “surviving woman”.
- Not having a partner is seen as a shame for the woman and her family. It goes so far that there is a real marriage market for young women who are “available” to find a husband for them and to “normalize” their social situation.
- The only child policy in China is now history, the government is trying to promote motherhood. The fact that there are women who do not fulfill their “natural” function leads to cruel and destructive pressure on them.
- Fortunately, many of the girls affected react against their own families first and of course against society as well.
However, they know that the price to be paid is loneliness because many closed minds reject them. Nevertheless, these women feel free and complete, with the right to live as they wish.
When outside pressure limits freedom
We are all aware that society does not approve of loneliness. China is not an isolated case. Even in our own environment there are various stereotypes that are associated with a single life.
- When an emotional relationship comes to an end, one often hears the following “consolation”: “Don’t worry, you will find someone again quickly.” As if being alone was a deplorable or incomprehensible situation.
- It also often happens that a family member does not understand that someone wants to live alone, travel alone or simply want to spend some moments alone in order to achieve peace with themselves.
Loneliness is still perceived as negative. Perhaps that is why we feel tied up by certain things or people, because we fear the step forward and the inappropriate criticism or comments that might come our way.
Society is not dangerous
The writer and poet Charles Bukowski made the following clear: Isolation is sometimes a real gift.
Of course, we do not want to say that you should close forever with your environment, with the people and rumors that surround you, with civilization, laughter, appointments, love or friendship.
- It’s about being selective and prioritizing to promote those situations that are beneficial and therapeutic. Solitude is undoubtedly a personal condition that everyone should experiment without fear from time to time.
- An interesting study published in Havard Business review shows that loneliness is increasingly valued as a strategy for improving many of our cognitive skills . In addition, it promotes harmony on an emotional level.
- People who are able to switch off from the “noise” of the environment, leave behind value judgments and expectations that others have of them, are freer and more creative. They are far more open to new opportunities and possibilities.
Perhaps it is time to break down myths and stereotypes. Chosen solitude, voluntary withdrawal, is evidence of courage.
Those who give in, capitulate, and keep clinging to the train of bad luck must realize that imprisonment is not the best option.
If we have to be alone to be free, loneliness may not be so dangerous. If we can use it to improve our self-esteem and take our own fate into our own hands, the journey is worth it.
We know that it is easy to say, “Dare to be free.”
But it is a personal choice that takes time and mediation to make a bold act worth trying.